Five jokes only salespeople understand

1. A salesman and his wife arrive home one evening to find a burglar in the house.

The burglar says, "You saw my face, now I have to shoot you.  But I always know my victim's name.  What is your name?"
The wife says, "My name is Alice."
The burglar says, "I can't shoot you.  That is my mother's name,  What's your name?"
And the quick-thinking salesman says, "My name is Ralph ... but my friends called me Alice."

2. A farmer complains to the veterinarian…

"I'm trying to sell my mule but sometimes he limps and sometimes, he doesn't"
The vet tells him, "Sell him when he is not limping."

3.  One saleslady to another…

"I don't want to take my troubles to bed with me, but my husband won't sleep alone."

4.  One salesman to another…

"My business is so bad that even my customers who don't intend to pay us, aren't buying."

5.  The salesman says to the sales manager… 

"I want a raise."
The manager replies, "You don't get a raise until you have been here five years."
The salesman says, "But I have been here seven years!"
The manager says, "Sorry, but you missed by two years."

"Smile, it will improve your face value".